Maybe

‘Maybe’

MAYBE

 

‘It’s him. It’s always been him.’

‘I know. I’ve known since we were fifteen years old. Are you going to say anything?’

‘No. I don’t want this to end. But now I’m constantly afraid that the next word I say will push him away.’

‘Excuse my cheesy cliché, but be yourself. It’s gotten you this far, right?’

‘But it’s not the same now, is it? When I’m around him, I feel like I have to be someone all the time. What if he gets tired of me? What if he finds someone better?’

‘Well, then that just means your souls weren’t crossed like at first thought they were.’

‘Thank you for the reassurance.’

‘It’s true. I’m not going to lie to you by promising this will all work out and you’ll be together forever. I love you too much for empty promises. And if it ends, I’ll help you gather the shards of your heart and we’ll rebuild it together.’

‘Until I’m stupid enough to hand it to the next guy who writes poetry and has dreamy brown eyes.’

‘You might not find anyone else with brown eyes quite as dreamy as his.’

‘Again. Thank you for the reassurance.’

‘Are you really not going to tell him?’

‘He knows me too well to not sense that something is wrong.’

‘Has he said anything?’

‘He doesn’t know what to say. He feels it. He asked me why I’m avoiding him.’

‘And?’

‘I’ve avoided him since.’

‘It’s not really the most sustainable plan.’

‘Really? Because if I’ve learned anything from my father it’s that if you ignore something long enough, it’ll eventually go away.’

‘Or completely consume you instead – sort of like it did with your dad.’

‘Well, in that case, it’ll completely destroy me too, so it will be fine. Don’t look at me like that.’

‘Like what? Like your ‘plan’ of complete denial has any chance of not spontaneously combusting and burning you to a crisp?’

‘Do you think it’s worth it? Doing anything? Saying something?’

‘What? The risk of loving him?’

‘I can’t – I can’t even imagine all of this without him.’

‘You need to decide whether you will be able to settle with being content for the rest of your life with everything you didn’t say.’

‘Maybe.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘No. But maybe reaching for an unknown happiness inevitably sets you up for disappointment. I’d rather settle for content with what I have than risk everything and end up with nothing.’

‘You could gain so much more.’

‘Perhaps. Maybe we’ll never know.’

 

Feature image: @flwhrs


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